Heather Anne

Why this episode made the list: This is The O.C. in perfect form: parallel story-telling, witty banter, brilliant music, and a nod to something great — in this case, Pretty in Pink.

Tiny-Cap: Caleb has been chosen Rivera Magazine's Man of the Year, and Kirsten plans to host a cilantro-free party in his honor. Kirsten wants to invite Uncle Shawn, who isn't so much an uncle as much as he is Caleb's own personal mobster. Sandy compromises his integrity and agrees to represent Uncle Shawn because it means he can keep Kirsten out of jail. After his Man of the Year party, Caleb tells Julie Cooper he wants to work out their relationship, but these days she's bonking Luke, so she demurs.

Ryan tries to make a relationship work with Theresa, his ex-girlfriend from Chino. Their problems are multi-fold as pointed out repeatedly by Sandy and Seth: Ryan has no money, Theresa has no place to live, she should still be in school, etc. There is also the pesky matter of her blue collar finace who shows up in his mechanic's uniform at Ryan's school to threaten him. Marissa tries to cope with Theresa by befriending her. She lends Theresa some of her doll-sized clothes for the Man of the Year ho down. The mechanic shows up at Caleb's party, punches Ryan in the face, and gets himself blacklisted from all future O.C. barbecues.

Anna announces that she is going back to Pittsburgh and Seth goes berserk. He asks Anna why she's leaving, and she says a whole bunch of things like vinyl records and peanut butter cup pies, which a person apparently cannot procure in southern California. Seth is afraid Anna is leaving because of him so he talks to Ryan, who says Seth should just tell Anna how he feels. Summer is surprisingly cool about the whole thing, even advising Seth to go after Anna at the airport to apologize for hurting [smashing, annihilating, bashing, battering, clobbering] her feelings at various points in the past.

Ryan drives Seth to the airport, where he chases down Anna at security and breaks her heart some more because he only wants to say sorry, not to ask her to stay. She leaves, he cries. Seth and Ryan go to The Mermaid Inn, where Theresa is supposed to be staying. However, she has packed up and headed back to Chino, but not before stopping by Marissa's to ask her to take care of Ryan. Which is the most patronizing and condescending thing a person can say in a breakup, ever. My disdain for that sentiment knows no bounds.

Seth and Ryan retire to a bench on the pier. They wonder aloud what Luke is doing, and even though the camera doesn't show it, we know he's having his own ho down at Julie Cooper's house. Seth and Ryan agree that practically being brothers is pretty awesome, and they each have a slice of pizza.

Words + Pictures

Seth: Gramps looks so angry.
Summer: I don't know why — he's on the cover of a magazine.
Anna: It's hard to believe that doesn't leave him feeling happy and fulfilled.
Summer: Totally, I know.

Julie: Luke, you know not to come to the house. We meet at the hotel.
Luke: I just thought you needed help with your DSL.
Julie: As much as I want high speed Internet access, it isn't worth Caitlin becoming suspicious.

Jimmy: Hi, Jules. Umm... Luke.
Julie: Luke just came by to defrag my hard drive.

Seth: So, she's leaving.
Ryan: No, she's staying.
Seth: What, when did you talk to Anna?
Ryan: Anna?
Seth: She told me she's going back to Pittsburgh.
Ryan: Anna's going back to Pittsburgh?
Seth: Uhh.. not anymore, according to you.
Ryan: What are you talking about?
Seth: She, Anna, is leaving.
Ryan: She, Theressa, is staying.
Seth: Right, got it.

Seth: Do not change the subject to me and... dammit, I'm powerless not to talk about it. She gave me a list of reasons why she's leaving.
Ryan: You didn't make the cut, did you?
Seth: She's lying. I want her to know that I'm sorry I hurt her feelings, but she doesn't have to be doing this.
Ryan: Just tell her.
Seth: Just tell her, huh? Simple, honest, direct, no wonder I never thought of it. OK, I will. I'll tell her tonight. Might have to have a little bubbly first, though. A little veritas in vino. Know what I mean?
Ryan: Hardly ever.

Kirsten: I told you that I didn't want you to get involved.
Sandy: I will always do what's best for my family.
Kirsten: I would rather go to jail than be responsible for you being mixed up in this, getting into bed with my father.
Sandy: I promise ya, I'd rather send you to jail than get into bed with your father.

Seth: Come on, man. Her flight leaves soon!
Ryan: I'm going 75 in a 65!
Seth: Everyone knows 80 is the new 75!
Ryan: Who talks like that?
Seth: What is up with this A/C. My Jew-fro is frizzing out. I look like Screech.
Ryan: The A/C is fine.
Seth: What IS this music?
Ryan: Do NOT insult Journey, all right?

Read Ashely's awesomer countdown here.