No, I don't want some aspirin. Yeah, I'm a little fussy. Aspirin's not gonna do a damn thing. I'm sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot.
Last week this little postcard came in the mail reminding me that the Atlanta Pride 5K is on June 28, which meant four weeks to train, which meant five weeks until the Peachtree Road Race (10K), which meant somebody had forgotten to get off her ass and start running; because, hi, winter is over. When I spotted the postcard, I put down the french fries and lugged myself out to the road where I managed to run about, oh, two minutes before I collapsed into a sobbing heap onto the ground. I was finally able to get up and start again, but only because I tapped into the power of The Collective. (Jennie!, Kat!, and Abigail! run every day.) I cried (texted) out for help, and immediately they came back with a pep talk that went something like, "Make the pavement your bitch, and then get back into the air conditioning and turn on the television, fool."
I have gone running almost all eight days since the postcard came, and when I tell you that every single night I have to take a hot bath and ice down my knees because my body is nearly too sore to function, it is not hyperbole; it is actual fact. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out why it is so hard for me to get back into running this time around. I mean, if I'm being honest, it's not like this is the first time I've stopped running for months on end. Usually my body just picks up where I left off, with just a little chastising. But this time: gah!
I was huffing and puffing my way up a hill this morning when this little boy rode past me on a Big Wheel.
"Are you hurt?" he asked as he sped up next to me. "You're hunching over like you're hurt."
"Old," I wheezed back. "Just old."
"How old?" he asked.
"Closer to menopause...huff... than I am...puff... to the day I signed...huff... my college basketball scholarship."
"Oh," the little boy said wisely. "Well, good luck with that."
When I was twenty, I would have just smiled and run on by. But I'm almost thirty now, so I tried to beat him up and steal his Big Wheel. But he got away because I was tired. And also because I am no match for a whippersnapper.
Comments
WOW, I so do not run every day. I got out of running last night on account of there was a tornado warning. Hooray!
Also, if I saw someone with a Big Wheel, I'd try to steal it, too.
Posted by: Jennie! | June 4, 2008 10:22 AM
yeah, this being old thing is tough on the knees. plus, with this storm rolling in, my ankle is starting to hurt.
what's that missy? you're gonna have to speak up a little louder. my hearing aid batteries are running low.
Posted by: kat | June 4, 2008 10:23 AM
at least you're still going to do it. I was all training and motivated, doing well, and then winter. so i stopped. I got the postcards and emails, and just didnt do it. I laughed and said, next year. I'll run again soon, but my knees yell and my lungs want to hold picket lines. They mock me.
Posted by: sarah g | June 4, 2008 10:40 AM
I might run every day but guess what?! IT DOESN'T MATTER. I gain a little bit of weight every day too. My life is a joke.
Posted by: Abigail | June 4, 2008 11:10 AM
I was running last night and some little kid in my neighborhood yelled, "There she is!" when he saw me. Then he came running up and ran alongside me engaging me in a conversation about where I was going. I could barely get out the words, "I'm just running," due to my inability to handle the situation and the fact that this little kid could run fast than me while talking.
It'll be ok Heather Anne, we all get out of shape and then back into it--Procrastinators Unite!! We Can Do It! and all that jazz.
Posted by: broke bertha | June 4, 2008 11:15 AM
I've been running for over twenty years, and it's still hard at the beginning of the Spring when I can finally get back out every day. But maybe that's because I'm WAY older than you too.
Posted by: churlita | June 4, 2008 11:55 AM
You can do it! I would offer to do it along with you, but damn, is it murder on my hip joints. No joke.
Posted by: mysterygirl! | June 4, 2008 03:10 PM
I gave up both the gym and running for the last 5 months in order to concentrate on other stuff. I used to be able to jump back in again with the kind of ease that made other people seethe with hatred, but now my body is doing all the seething and hating on their behalf. Now, every morning since returning to the gym and the road, my muscles yell, 'Well, good morning, dipshit! How are you?!?!'
I'm not my best friend right now.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | June 4, 2008 05:39 PM
That's cute. I remember when I thought "almost thirty" was old.
A lifetime ago.
Hang in there you whippersnapper.
Posted by: Mad William | June 4, 2008 06:17 PM
You should be proud that you have the energy and determination to even try. I think about it really hard at night but then when morning rolls around I just turn the TV on. I do not remember the last time I exercised. Stay strong for the rest of us! Just reading about your exercise makes me feel better about myself, if you can follow crazy logic. WOO EXERCISE BY PROXY. It's a new thing.
Posted by: Ashley | June 4, 2008 06:53 PM
You are so funny.
xoxo
Emms
Posted by: Emms | June 4, 2008 09:28 PM
A) Don't forget days off.
B) I hear ice-baths are good for the muscles.
C) I ran my fastest 10K when I was 30'ish.
D) Godspeed.
E) I think I just called you God. I'm down with it. Are you?
Posted by: peefer | June 5, 2008 12:19 PM
Yesterday, I was running and stopped at the bottom of a hill to walk up (of course). A nice lady who was walking with her toddler in a big plastic car stopped and scooted to the side so I could pass. I thought it would be nice of me to speed up so she didn't have to wait long. So I start running again. Uphill. I almost died. I smiled at the lady who told me as I passed, "Keep going, girl! One day you'll get good at it!" Like that was a nice, cheerful thing to say.
Posted by: Courtney | June 5, 2008 06:51 PM