Heather Anne

I have had occasion lately to purchase Business Woman in Town on Business clothes, which, as you might imagine, is not my favorite activity, because a) no t-shirts and b) no Chuck Taylors. The only thing that keeps me from ramming my head into a dressing room wall when clothes shopping is that Amy knows how to handle me. She will stand patiently outside the dressing room making sympathetic noises and catching clothes as I toss them over the door shouting things like: "Too much lace!" "Too low cut!" "The pockets on this skirt make me like look I have a boner!" Slowly, slowly, we narrow it down to items I can tolerate and just when I am having a crisis with the last few bits of apparel, Amy breaks out with, "You know what I like best about this skirt/shirt/shoe combination? It looks exactly like something Tina Fey would wear." And, of course, I'm breaking in line to buy it.

Amy is also brilliant with Scout, but her patience wanes as the day goes on. Saturday looked like this:

"Let's not start off like that this morning, okay? Every day is a new day, and an opportunity to be on our best behavior."

"You're just barking because Margaret did. Being a follower is what leads to alcohol and drug addiction. I worry for your future."

"What did I tell you, huh? Don't meddle in cat business."

"Scout, I swear to God if you make me lose firepower!" (Re: The New Super Mario Brothers.)

And finally:

Me: Amy, was Scout barking?
Amy: Yes.
Me: Did you squirt her with the water gun?
Amy: Yes.
Me: A lot? Because, I mean, she's absolutely drenched.
Amy: Mommy might have overreacted.

Which: Amy is the most patient person I know. If she loses it with Scout, I assure you that you'd toss the Beagle out of a window.