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Life lessons with Amy Sue

In the weeks leading up to any of my solo adventures, Amy always starts blurting out little pieces of travel wisdom. She says it is because I am not what one would call "discerning." Last night, she told me not to follow any strange men out into any abandoned wheat fields. Because London and Paris are super famous for their... pastures. She also engages me in all kinds of dialogue to help me come up with my own safe travel practices.

"What is your biggest weakness?" she asked me over the weekend.

"I step out into traffic," I told her.

"And you're biggest strength?"

"I'm very sweet--definitely not the kind of person you would want to hit with a car."

I don't know why she worries so.

Comments

When I was in NYC playing mother hen to 12 undergraduate students, I saw more people step out into traffic and freeze out of panic than I care to remember. Just don't be that kid...

If anyone hits you with a car, I will kick them in the nut.

A little walking out into traffic tip - If you go to the Arc de Triomphe, contrary to what you might think, you do not actually have to cross the CRAZY CIRCLE OF DEATH to get to the Arc. In fact, there is an underground walkway.

Just remember that in England they drive on the other side of the street. (I've heard this all my life though I've never been there. It must be strange to stand on the surface looking at blank roads knowing that traffic is zipping around underneath. I wonder how the cars stick to the road?)

The real danger in England is that Sting will ask you to come away with him and be his love as you walk through fields of gold. Don't do it. It's a cop trap. It's well known that Sting is with the police. This is their favorite kind of entrapment. They'll ticket you for walking on the grass as soon as you take one step off the sidewalk. They call this operation a "sting". (It's all coming together now, isn't it?)

Hello, Heather Anne.

You made my hot tea come out my nose.

The key to surviving the UK is to stay clear of questionable kebab vendors. A bad kebab might not kill you, but it will make you pray for the sweet release of death. There's something wrong with eating meat sliced off of a rotating trunk of processed meat-like etcetera. Although, it may very well be the best drunk-food ever conceived by man.

Also, in Europe? Don't sleep on the trains. You'll wake up naked and confused. Happens all the time. Constantly.

Have fun!




































































































































































































































































































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