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just plain heather

Nothing makes me feel more like a rock star than spending the morning at the elementary school where I am a mentor and a basketball coach. It’s high-fives, and hugs, and, “Hey, Heather! Hey, Heather!” because what I represent to a ten-year-old is everything awesome in the world: a grown-up who plays video games, watches cartoons, and doesn’t make rules. And no one has to call me ‘Miss.’

The little girl I mentor is the coolest kid ever. This morning we played UNO and answered questions about each other on an interview sheet I’d made up. It was a test to see how much we’ve learned about each other this year.

She read each question aloud, and then chewed on her pen as she tried to decide what my answers would be.

Favorite food? Tacos.

Favorite color? Orange.

Favorite sport? Basketball.

Near the bottom of the sheet, she silently read a question, and then looked up at me with narrowed eyes.

“What?” I asked. “What is it?”

“This question: what’s the best thing that ever happened to you…”

“You want me to tell you the answer?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I want you to tell me if England starts with an ‘I’ or an ‘E’.”

When I took her back to her classroom, one of her friends asked if I was her mom. She said, “Naw, that’s Heather.” Her friend said, “Heather who?” And my little mentee shrugged her shoulders. “Just plain Heather.”

My entire life is modeled around the concept of being an aunt: Bring the silly. Bring the laughs. Bring the candy.

Just plain Heather: all of the fun; none of the nose-wiping.

Comments

Good job. The world needs aunts. The world can wipe its own nose.

Hello, Heather Anne.

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And it's a good thing, too, 'cause otherwise I'd have to move to a whole other planet. I do not like runny noses. Hello, Scott!

well then don't come to Elon anytime soon because everyone here either has the flu, a cold, or is about to get the flu or a cold. all of the above come with runny noses

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GET TO NEWBORN IMMEDIATELY! (Have you noticed how capitalized my comments have been to you lately? SUCH. URGENCY.)

I love just plain Heather.

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To Bridget, just as she is.

My aunts have never been as cool as you. But they do laugh a LOT. Do you want to be my aunt?

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Will you make your favorite aunt brownies?

You are the coolest! My 11 year old told me so! I didn't know your favorite food was tacos. You want to come to dinner? I fry my own shells and my spanish rice is out of this world. Manmaw and Tom can come too!

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Um, yes. Yes, I do. Please do not be joking about tacos.

Phoebe, were these . . . uh . . . "funny" brownies?

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Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.

I am not joking! What about on Sunday, November 4th. I will make tacos and spanish rice and enchiladas and refired beans. The beans will be from a can. I will invite your grandparents too! We can all eat dinner together.

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Yes, please! (You'll have to email me directions to your casa.)

your comments have been capitalized but only at me! haha it's okay - my nose already ran away... wamp wamp

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THAT'S WHAT I MEAN! It's so urgent when I comment back to YOU! Catch your nose. And your refrigerator.

That'sthe drag about being a parent. you have to be the responsible one.

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Which is why I would be the worst mom EVER.

You are the best Heather ever. At least, the best Heather I've ever known. And since this is my comment, my experience and my judgment about Heatherness is universal and irrefutable.

Someday the entire world will be mine.

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When the world is yours, I'll finally be able to sleep through the night.

That just made my day. It pleases me to no end that there are people like you in the world.

Share the love "Just plain Heather",
There is nothing plain about you.

i luvz dis heather.

You're just plain awesome!

Well hello there Gene Simmons

First of all, when did you come back? And why did I miss all this? Secondly, you rock, Heather.

Just plain fun aunt Heather. Don't forget the fun part.

Being an Aunt is the best! I didn't want the "title" of Aunt because it implied to me that love and respect were required rather than earned. So I always told my nieces and nephew that I was not Aunt Jeanne, I was just Jeanne. So of course they call me Just Jeanne. I few years ago I became a Judge and they started to call me Judge Just Jeanne which they have now shortened to "Triple J." "Just Plain Heather" is brilliant because it means you have earned the love and respect!

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