Heather Anne

My original plan for this weekend was to sit on my couch and watch movies, while wearing a bike helmet and skateboard pads. After all, one can never tell when she will be attacked by her furniture. And while I did watch three of my top five favorite movies (Pride and Prejudice, Bridget Jones’s Diary, and Love Actually) this weekend, I didn’t spend the whole time on the couch. The autumn is just too nice.

Saturday night Amy and I stumbled upon a carnival! in a parking lot! I love street carnivals on account of all the danger. Everyone knows the rides are held together with duct tape and chewing gum. Three tickets could get you a ferris wheel ride, or they could get you imminent death. Talk about exciting.

I don’t believe in destiny, but when my best friend and I happen on a street carnival and I have twelve dollars of cash in my pocket… well, it kind makes me give karma a little nod.

Twelve dollars scored Amy and I four rides, but before we got all dizzy and stuff I pulled her aside and said, “Now look here, if you see a machine with a turban man inside, and he says, ‘If you put a quarter in my mouth you can make a wish,’ don’t do it! It happened to a friend of mine once, and even though he scored with Elizabeth Perkins (pre-Weeds), that machine caused him a LOT of trouble.”

Amy chose the ferris wheel for her ride, and it was pretty tame.

And me? I picked The Spider!

I ripped these pictures off the carnival people’s webpage, along with this really pervy description: "Spider - For those who like it FAST, Spins at amazing speeds, while the cars go up and down at the same time.” (I think it goes without saying that this web page is smothered in Comic Sans font.)

When the carnival man loaded us into our Spider Cart, he was all, “Are you girls ready for the ride of your life?”

And I was all, “Dude, gross.”

And Amy was all, “Are you sure this thing is fastened securely.”

Right before the ride started I said we were going to die, and also I would really like some antibacterial hand gel. Amy rolled her eyes and said I was an embarrassment to brave people everywhere.

I don’t really know what to say about The Spider, except that it was the best three minutes of my life.

There were some other good things this weekend, like some writing and a fall festival. But all I really care about is when the carnival is coming to town again. Apparently I do like it FAST. And germy.

Even Comic Sans doesn’t put me off The Spider. And that’s not the kind of love you find just around the corner.