go, go, gryffindor
All right, Internets, listen up.
I am very busy today. Prepaid Inventory reconciliation is not a joke; it can make your eyes bleed if you’re not careful. But it appears some of you need a little lesson in decorum.
A couple of you wankers have emailed me in the manner of gloating sports’ fans to tell me that J.K. Rowling accidentally dropped her top yesterday at a press conference. I know. Two of the three people that love me best in the world called to tell me yesterday afternoon so I wouldn’t be caught off guard when it showed up in my Go Fug feed.
Look, little lambs, if you want to make fun of Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan or whomever when they flash their hoo-has at the world, that’s fine. I don’t laugh at them, but I don’t judge you for laughing at them. They have done nothing to deserve your loyalty. (Mean Girls allegiance goes to Tina Fey, not Lohan.) (“Yeah, suck it. I do read the paper.")
But JK Rowling? You want to be all smug because the woman who brought you countless hours of joy at Hogwarts inadvertently showed off her bra to the press? You think that’s funny? SHAME ON YOU!
Here’s the thing: I saw the pictures, and JK Rowling’s breasts are perfect. And you know what? Of course they are.
If I was JK Rowling I would walk around naked, shouting, “I am the most important creative mind of the century! And my breasts, they are GLORIOUS!”
Now, I have to go back to work. I don’t make money writing; I make money by staring at spreadsheets.
Keep making fun of JK Rowling, and I swear I’ll Bat-Bogey hex you. My breasts aren’t glorious, but my magic is amazing.
Comments
That post was hilarious...And I'm saying that as respectfully as possible, 'kay?
Posted by: churlita | October 17, 2007 12:57 PM
breasts are totally overrated anyway. but magic? so best.
Posted by: kat! | October 17, 2007 01:18 PM
What about magic breasts?
Posted by: Jennie! | October 17, 2007 01:36 PM
I bet she gets more requests about what brand bra she was sporting, because it was workin' for her. The most important thing is that she has taught us all yet one more valuable lesson: test your clothing before walking out the door, it may not be able to handle the strain of a microphone!
Posted by: Noelle | October 17, 2007 02:37 PM
where's my guest blog about sticking it to the man!?
Posted by: Cousin Candice | October 17, 2007 09:26 PM
I always miss the good booby-filled news. I'm glad to hear they are glorious, though. I'd expect nothing less.
Posted by: kerrianne | October 17, 2007 10:18 PM
If Prepaid Inventory reconciliation is not a joke, what is? Those knock knock thingies?
Posted by: Mr. Fabulous | October 18, 2007 05:50 AM
I'll be your second, sister.
Posted by: Jenn The Sister | October 18, 2007 07:07 AM
I had missed this piece of news and now, because you have written this I can't go check it out because you've shamed me in advance. Not that I would make fun of Rowling anyway.
Do creativity and glorious breasts go hand in hand? If so that explains a lot about why I have never been creative.
Posted by: Jenn (the not-sister) | October 18, 2007 12:25 PM
If I was JK Rowling I would walk around naked, shouting, “I am the most important creative mind of the century! And my breasts, they are GLORIOUS!”
I'd pay to see her do that.
Also, jenn said:
Do creativity and glorious breasts go hand in hand?
If they did, she'd never get any writing done...at least, I wouldn't, that's for sure.
Howdy Heather...you youz doin anyways?
Posted by: toadman | October 18, 2007 06:20 PM
"They're real...and they're spectacular!"
Posted by: Gravesland (Courtney's Uncle) | October 22, 2007 11:05 PM