oh, believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed
The Team Target Customer Service Specialist (CSS) looked up from his computer to the queue of waiting customers, raised his hand and said, “Next, please.”
I stepped forward and gave him my most winning smile. “Hello,” I said.
“Refund, exchange, or registry,” he responded mechanically.
“None of those actually.” I handed him the receipt, fresh from the register. “I just bought some stuff, including this book here.” I took the book out and handed it to him. “And I noticed on the receipt that the title was spelled incorrectly, so I just wanted to let you know.”
The CSS took my receipt and peered at it. “I’m sorry?”
"See, the name of this book is Jane Austen in Scarsdale. It is based on Jane Austen’s Persuasion. Austen is spelled a-u-s-t-E-n, and in your system it is spelled a-u-s-t-I-n.”
His eyebrows closed in on each other.
“And Austen with an ‘I’ is wrong,” I said, since he didn’t seem to understand the problem.
“Is this a joke?” he asked.
“No. I was just wondering if it was hard to change the name in your system so that it prints out correctly on the receipt. I wouldn’t even mention it, it’s just that, you know, it is Jane Austen.”
The CSS did not reply.
“Jane Austen,” I repeated.
“I know who Jane Austen is,” he said.
“Awesome. So you see my point. She’s one of the most important authors in the canon of world literature. I mean it’s not as if you’ve misspelled Koontz.”
“Koontz?”
“No offense to Dean Koontz.”
“You’re a joke,” he said.
I shrugged. “Yeah, okay. Have a nice day.”
I guess the standard issue uniform for Target Team Members does not include the “What Would Elizabeth Bennet Do” bracelet.
That’s Bennet with one T, Jackass.
Comments
Testify, sister. We got your back.
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Mags, now that I know you are here, IT IS ON.
Posted by: Mags | April 3, 2007 03:01 AM
In protest, we should covertly change the spelling to "John Grishum" on all his books at Target… Oh, who am I kidding, they’d never notice.
Just popping in to say hi. Nice blog you got here. Thanks for reading.
Cheers,
Ms. Snarker
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Ooh. Vindictive. I like it. :)
Posted by: dorothy snarker | April 3, 2007 03:30 AM
I just love the fact that you noticed this. Me, I rarely even look at receipts.
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It just JUMPED out at me. So, of course, I had to stand up against the injustice. Sometimes it's just me and you, Fence, fighting crime and taking names. You know?
Posted by: Fence | April 3, 2007 04:55 AM
It was probably the jelly belly that spiked your blood sugar, causing your brain to think that a Target drone would care about somethiing like that. Silly rabbit.
And does that Eldest entry indicate a discount for beinig an oldest sibling? If it does, I'm totally shopping at Target forever from now on.
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I wish. If there was an Eldest discount at Target (and the Mexican restaurant, movie theater, and Starbucks), I would be so stinkin' rich. Or I'd just buy more stuff.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | April 3, 2007 08:12 AM
And just what is wrong with the Author Dean Koontz?
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Nothing! I just think it's a funny last name to say. Koontz. Koontz. Koontz. The word has lost all meaning. :)
Posted by: Melissa Coleman | April 3, 2007 08:34 AM
HI : )
hmm.. not only did you buy Jane Austin (e), but you bought an eldest? And... a box?!
Interesting target ya got there!
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The Eldest was a book and the box was for a gift. You're missing the big picture, though, Sarah. I also bought Jelly Belly Sours and Whoppers. That's a party!
Posted by: sarah | April 3, 2007 08:53 AM
Okay, my eye jumped immediately from the sacrilege that was "Austin" to the list of candy underneath. It only makes me love you more, Heathy, and explains why you're so gosh darn sweet.
Sure he meant, "You're joking." (Ass-HOLE.)
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Ass-HOLE! Meet the Parents! Bwahaha! Kell, I love you.
Posted by: Kelly | April 3, 2007 10:12 AM
What an ass! I am all about Fixing Things That Are Wrong, so I could see myself pointing out the same thing, for the Good of Humanity. Booooooo to your Target.
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You're right: this *was* for the good of humanity. I am glad that you are a crusader against Wrong, Srah. It makes me feel less alone in this world of literary debauchery.
Posted by: srah | April 3, 2007 10:34 AM
LOL! I so would have wanted to be the next in the queue. :D
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We could have jumped him!
Posted by: Sylvia L. | April 3, 2007 10:47 AM
Shall we send him shirt?
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Psh, it'd be totally wasted on him. Wanker. But you have one, right?
Posted by: Jennie | April 3, 2007 12:35 PM
Okay, comment time take two: I suggest you take your campaign straight to Corporate.
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I don't have the kind of clout to make anything happen. I barely have enough authority to make my dog come inside.
Posted by: warcrygirl | April 3, 2007 12:43 PM
That's why friends don't let friends buy books at chain stores. Not that good spelling got me a job at a bookstore, but I'm at least familiar with the (non-Russian) canon.
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Noelle, you must believe me when I tell you that I first went to my local independent bookstore, Humpus Bumpus Books, but they didn't have it there! I am a full supporter of Shop Around the Corner. Swear.
Posted by: Noelle | April 3, 2007 12:58 PM
Humph! Mispellings drive me crazy (how do you spell mispelling, is it with one or two sess?). Thank you for being a good citizen and trying to rectify this.
Posted by: Jenn (the not-sister) | April 3, 2007 03:51 PM
I had a comment about the *i* and the *e* until I noticed the Whoppers and then my mind started to wonder and suddenly I was searching through my cupboards to find a chocolate stash ... there wasn't one, so now I am back .. to say how NOT shocked I am that he thought you were joking.
Posted by: FrannieFarmer | April 3, 2007 09:26 PM
Well, technically he did begin with saying, "I'm sorry."
I don't suppose that she secretly married the Six Million Dollar Man and changed her name?
Posted by: ~Tim | April 3, 2007 10:29 PM
Hi : )
Oh no, I definitely noticed the candy! : ) Just, that, I would expect!
Posted by: sarah | April 4, 2007 09:10 AM
"A jet in anus" is an anagram of Jane Austin.
"A sea jet nun" is an anagram of Jane Austen.
I know which one I prefer.
Posted by: peefer | April 4, 2007 02:37 PM